Wednesday, April 1, 2009

please STOP.

soo, i've been trying to just let things slide for over 2 months now and after tonight i just can't anymore. i can't handle it. i get that i don't have a job (thanks, it's kinda obvious and limits everything i can do..) but don't for a second think i haven't tried. i'm not going to lie and say i've gone out every single day that i've been out of work to go and look for a job. i haven't. but every day at least i'll do an internet search if i dont leave the house to go out and hand out resumes.
I have printed off and handed out over 100 now with no call backs. That obviously doesn't include the numerous places i've applied to online.
I'm not happy. I'm not going to pretend that i am. I am depressed and not having a job is 90% the problem. what is the the other 10% you may ask? ALL OF YOU! the people who say "oh well here or here is hireing, i saw a sign on this place to day". yah i get it. they're hireing. like 800 places are fucking hireing. i have tried. i've applied to superstore (WHO STILL HAS SIGNS OUTSIDE OF IT SAYING NOW HIREING), four times with no returns of a call or anything. so please just STOP! i get you're trying to help, but it really doesn't do anything but make me feel even more gay then i already do.
i have a hard enough time just getting up in the morning with energy because i know i'm just going to be let down during the day by 10 or so places i go and apply at. personally, i believe if you want to be my friend and "help me" tell me i'll be fine. help me deal with the stupid problems that go on in my life, boys, drama etc. help me get through that shit so i can still be strong and look for a job. tell me not that i'll "find something soon" (cause that also is the most annoying line anyone can utter to me lately). i have parents to give me hell and tell me i should find a job, which believe me they do. they're there to breath down my back and keep me going day to day and looking and hoping.
there might not be much hope left in me, but for there sake i try.
again, i appreciate that you people are doing this to "help" but making me upset and feel like shit really isnt helping at all.

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